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Difficult to Love Behaviour

Yan and Nadya's orphanage leavers are all working through issues that stem from their institutionalised childhoods and the circumstances that put them there.

One of the most recent additions to their orphan support group is Lilya.

At first she seemed like any other girl but it soon became obvious to Nadya that Lilya has severe attention-seeking problems... she kept compulsively lying.

One reason people constantly make things up can be to impress. They want to be liked; and shaping their reality by lying, to get pity and gain attention, can almost seem the same as being liked. Another reason is to feel like they are in control. Attention and control are two things that children who grow up in the Russian orphanage system do not experience.

Instead of finding her needs met by her actions, the others in the group have been annoyed and hurt. Fortunately, Lilya has come to the right place. This is not the first time Nadya has had to deal with 'difficult to love' behaviour! Nadya told Lilya:

"You have to learn to be real with us if you want us to help you. I will not love you more if you have problems, or less if you don't".

Nadya treats each of her young people with the love and discipline of a mother and it's this that helps them to learn, trust, and grow in confidence. Lilya has not been put off coming to the group by Nadya seeing through her. Far from it... She wants Nadya's approval and the unconditional love she sees the others in the group benefiting from.

Please pray for Lilya, that she will open up and 'be real' with Nadya so she can get the help she needs.


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